Rub eating

"Look, Mama! I can rub my whole self with my napkin with this hand and eat my food with my other hand. I call it rub eating."
-Max

Max's best quotes {taken only from lunch time today!}

"Cucumbers are so juicy that they are really like a drink instead of food. Let's call these a drink and not food now and forever all the times."

"Mama, I didn't have a vitamin yet today so I'm really tired. If you don't give me a vitamin, I will still be so tired, but if you make a good choice and do give me a vitamin I'll be juuuuust right. You know what you should do."

"Well, this is awkward." (said after a teeny 3 second pause in conversation where it was completely quiet and no one was talking. Dude can't handle his silence.)

"I just farted in my chair a little. It smells like poop stink. You'll smell it in a minute, Mama and it will make you want to puke."


Max: "When I grow up I don't want to be a police officer."
Me: "Why not?"
Max: "They can't swim and if I have to get away from bad guys I might have to swim."
Me: "Police officers can swim, Buddy. Why did you think they can't?"
Max: "I never saw them swim before so I know they can't. If I saw them with my little eyes and they swimmed then I would be a police officer because that would be fun. I like catching bad guys."

He thinks he's big...

"Titus thinks he's a big boy, but really he's a baby. He's such a faker." 

~Max

Favorite things

Me: "Max, what's your favorite thing to do?"
Max: "Eat nachos and save princesses from bad guys."

How to fight monsters

Max gave me a complete rundown on how to defeat different colored monsters this afternoon. Given his record of never losing a monster battle, I'd say he's quite an expert and it's worth a listen.

White monsters are easy peasy. You just bam them.
Blues you have to punch in the face. Really hard.
Purple has to be knifed.
If its orange, you have to get another good guy to fight with you because they are very strong and fast.
With yellows, you have to pull your leg all the way back and then kick them in the foots.
If you ever see a spotted-dotted one, you have to run and get your dad. Those are so tricky and serious.


And now you know. 

"I'm always here for him...."

Titus was crying yesterday. Max, like Max always does, felt bad and wanted to make him "be happy again" so he did silly stuff, made noises and pretended to trip and fall until Titus was giggling and the tears were gone. I told Max he was a good big brother to care about Titus like that. Very sweetly he replied, "Yep, I am. I'm always here for him. I will stay home with him and be with him and not leave....but not forever! I'm going to school when I'm 5. But I'll teach him to be big before I go so he'll be ok." 

Jesus on the cross

Max can't sit still for a whole meal. He can't help it. He's a wiggler. We often have to give him 30 second jumping breaks halfway through a meal just to help him focus on finishing what's on his plate. While we have a "bottoms in your chairs" rule during mealtime, it's not unusual at all to see him bopping up and down in the kitchen while the rest of us eat calmly. It's just how my Max was made. 

On night he was in the middle of a jumping break, when he caught our attention to show us how "he can be Jesus". I melted. That dude drives me bananas sometimes, but he is so stinkin' sweet and cute when he wants to be. 

"I'm Jesus on the cross!"

"Being a mom is so glamorous".....said no one ever.

I'm always proud when my kid does something great, like most moms are, but I draw the line at poop. 

Max: "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. {every mom loves this right? Especially when on the phone} MOM! MOM! MOOOOM! MOMMMMMAAAA!!!!!!" 

Me: "Max, honey, I'm on the phone. Can you please wait one minute?" 

Max: "NO! I pooped 4 poops and it's really great and it's in the toilet and I want you to see it and then I want you to wipe me." 

Me: "Sorry, friend. I gotta hang up now. Max pooped great poop and the screaming you hear in the background isn't going to stop til I look at it." {I'm glad my friend is a mom and she totally got this}

Max: "Look at this! I have never pooped a great poop like this before!"

P.S. It was just your run-of-the-mill, everyday poop. Nothing special. Being a mom is so....so......I have no words. 

spiders

Max:
"I just saw a spider while I was poopin' and it was a mad Mama spider! It couldn't be a kid spider 'cause it was scary and fast and that's like mamas. Mad mamas are SCARY and they move quick fast!!"

Strength

"My daddy is so strong he can even punch fireworks! He can. Yep."
~Max

Getting Married

So I joined this Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group that meets at a church near my house. This morning was our first time going to a meeting. Last night as I was tucking the big boys into bed, I let them know where we'd be going in the morning. I told sweet Max he'd be seeing one of his friends (a girl). I really thought it would make it sound fun. Really. Not so much though...

Max: "Noooo. I don't want to do that. That is a terrible idea."

Me: "Why is that? You love seeing her."

Max (after a string of panicked ramblings): "If you go to a church and you see a girl you have to be married!"

Me: "No. No, you don't. You can just play toys with her and it will be fun." 

Max (now shouting at his normal happy Max volume) : "OH! I love to play toys! I love friends. I love MOPS!"

Oh Max.

Sharing

So this morning, David swiped a toy away from Max which caused him to start screaming. Then I hear this from David...

"But, buddy, listen. Mom and Dad are married so they have to share everything. Like Uncle Andy and Aunt Whitney. They can't be selfish either. They really can't. Like ever. But you're my brother and we're not married. So this is my toy now. Go get your own." 

Aside from being super rude to his brother, he does have a point....

Shoe shopping

There's nothing like fall time to prove to a parent just how much the kidlings have grown over the summer. Jeans look more like capris and toes are all crunched up in the ends of sneakers. It's not pretty. 

Max grew a nice, normal amount over the summer. He's filling out his cold-weather clothes a little more than he was last spring, but not to a Hulk-ish degree and he's gone up just a half size in shoes. Not bad. But David, who has been eating everything in sight all summer long, jumped a full size in clothes and TWO shoe sizes in just 3 months. We don't keep track of height growth around here, but I'm positive he grew a solid 2 inches this summer. When trying on his brand-new-to-him size 5 jeans he excitedly shouted "Mama, look! My ankles don't even show in these ones!". Proof that the littlest things in life can make you the happiest sometimes. 

With the weather turning colder and wetter, we knew it was time to get on the new shoe thing. Sandals aren't going to work for much longer. Off to the shoe store we went. We immediately realized David is beyond the point of velcro shoes. I don't know if I saw a single pair in his size. And if I did, they were dopey looking, I'm sure of it. He immediately spots a Perry the Platypus pair with laces and falls in love. I have to admit, they are pretty spiffy looking. He tried them out, took a little walk and we decided he could have them. Next step: teaching him how to tie them all by himself! 

With David taken care of, we headed off to Max's section. Not a Perry shoe in sight. I knew he'd be upset about not having cool Perry shoes like David so I grabbed a pair of bright red shoes (his favorite color) and tried to figure out every way possible to talk them up and make them as cool as platypus shoes. That's not easy. I also found some white shoes with blue stripes. Super cute and super grown up looking. They look just like a mini pair of something Daddy would buy. Uber cool no matter how you look at them. At first he wasn't thrilled with either pair, but he was open to trying them on. 

He walked, ran and skipped up and down the aisle in both pairs. Then, it was decision time. David and I agreed that both pairs fit well and would be a good choice so we were going to let Max choose which ones he wanted. I knew he liked the grown up looking pair of white ones best, but being a mom, I knew their bright whiteness only had a life span of about a week so I started rethinking the "let Max choose" plan. Let's face it, two year old boys are dirt magnets. He stood so quietly and patiently in his cool white shoes listening to our conversation. Right about the time he knew Mama and the red shoes were winning, he gently tapped my arm and said "Mama, I'm gonna say Dear Jesus and Amen [pray] about these shoes now". Then he sat down in the middle of the aisle, folded his chubby little hands, squeezed his eyes shut and prayed the most heartfelt prayer I've ever heard in my life. 

"Dear Jesus, thank you Mama and Daddy go shopping for new sneakers. 

I like white shoes. Jesus, please give me white shoes so I can wear them. 

That makes me be happy. And Jesus...white shoes. Amen." 

And then he opened his eyes, smiled at me and waited.  GAH!! Why does he have to be so cute?! Needless to say, after all that the grown up looking white shoes totally won. We packed them back in the box and he proudly carried them up to the check out so Daddy could pay for them. We got just outside the store and stopped so the boys could put on their new shoes. They didn't stop running for the rest for the night. New shoes make you run faster, you know. And stomp harder, jump higher, skip skippier and zig-zag even zig-zaggier. True story. 

The prayed for white shoes

David's first pair of lace-up shoes

Favorite Foods

The boys and I had a talk about our favorite foods today while eating lunch. I think their answers may be a little biased since they happened to be eating a salad with Monga's tomatoes in it at the time, but they were so sweet that I had to share anyway. 

Me: "What's your favorite food ever?" 

David: "Ever ever? In the whole wide world?! Cheese. And the tomatoes Monga grew for me in her garden." 

Max: "Yeah! Monga is a good tomato grower. These is good tomatoes! Really really. Yep."

Apparently, Papa had nothing whatsoever to do with the planting, growing or picking of the tomatoes because Monga got all the credit and I guess they think she did it just for the two of them?? As if no one else is allowed to eat them or something. The bond between boys and their grandma is pretty special. :)

Pee

Max, from the other room:

"Don't worry, Mom. Nothing has pee on it in here!" 

Yeah, riiiiiight. 

Muscles

David: "Let's fight bad guys today, buddy!"
Max: "Ok!"
David: "We need to use our giant strong muscles!"
Max: *flexes muscles*
David: "It's ok. I'll use giant strong muscles. You use what you got."

An observation

"Titus is like a dog; He likes to chew on his puke."
-David, after watching Titus throw up in his mouth a little then swallow it again.



...can't argue with that. :)

a good idea

Right now, Max's very favorite saying in the whole world is "I have a good idea" which is, on it's own, one of the cutest things ever, but he doesn't stop there. No, sir. He adds his teeny little finger in there. He points his little finger at you, looks all excited like and happily shouts in your face "I have a good idea!". Often there is no plan behind it. It's more of a conversation starter. Once you give your full attention (which is what he's really after) and ask "what's that, honey?" he just looks at you with a blank stare for a moment then quickly makes something up. 

Here's one of his calmer, quieter moments where he just wanted to stare at the bush for a while. 

(Ignore Titus crying in the background. He was unhappy about a diaper change.)

:)

Jesus

Man, am I tired this morning! Yeesh. Pass the coffee. 

Max woke often during the last half of the night meaning - you guessed it - Mama was up often during the last part of the night. Being a mama isn't for the faint of heart I tell ya. When I just couldn't bear his restless sleep and little fusses anymore I sent up a very desperate prayer to the Lord asking begging for some peaceful sleep. Soon after we both settled in and slept until morning. 

Cut to this morning...

Max came walking out of his bedroom still half asleep and looking groggy. I tried to say good morning and give a hug, but he wasn't having it. He just stared around the living room as if he were looking for something. Finally, when he couldn't find what he was after, he gave me a puzzled look and asked "Where Jesus go? He just here." I was confused...and touched...and I had no idea what to say. Yeah, I just stared at him. I had expected "good morning, Mama.". This threw me off. 

As I fumbled for words and tried to figure out where to take the conversation from there, David took over. Just as matter-of-fact as can be he looked at Max and said "Silly Max. Jesus lives in the sky. And in sunshine and butterflies." Max thought about it for a second, still looking a little puzzled, then asked "In the sky?" like he just wasn't buying it. David was quick to confirm it. Max let out a little "Oh" then moved on to asking for chocolate milk. 

I don't know what happened last night or what Max saw, but it made an impact...and not just on him. 

Picking up

Ever have one of "those" days? The days where the kids seem happier just dumping the toys on the floor rather than actually playing with them. That was today at our house. Alllll the toys they own ended up on the  floor within an hour or two of them waking up this morning. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stay on top of it and keep the floor clear. 

At one point I asked the boys to help pick up the mega blocks from the kitchen floor. I took a second while they were busy to go to their bedroom and get some actual progress made. I came back to the kitchen expecting to see them at least working on the blocks. Not so. I have to admit I was a little frustrated. All they had to do was pick up the clutter off the floor and fill the tote. It seemed simple enough. I (stupidly) asked Max what he was doing and why he wasn't picking up. He looked me dead in the eye and very proudly said "I did! I pick up me!". 

Touché, little man.