September 3rd, 2013
Dear David,
Hey, buddy. Tomorrow is a very big
day for you. It’s your very first day of school. We picked out your clothes,
you helped make your lunch, we packed your backpack. You’re all set. You were
walking pretty tall tonight as we got you ready for your big day.
Tomorrow isn’t just a big deal
because you’re meeting new friends and learning new things. It’s also very
important because this is the first time you’ll be away from Mama like this. I
won’t be there to make sure you eat a good lunch or remind you to wash your
hands. You’re a big guy now and you’ll be doing those things for yourself. You’re
going to be making your own decisions all day long. Make good choices, buddy.
When I was in school, there was a
boy named Terry. Terry didn’t have a lot of friends because he looked a little
different and he wore funny clothes and sometimes he even smelled a little bit.
Terry didn’t smile very much. He didn’t have anyone to eat lunch with and he
never played with anyone else on the playground at recess. Terry never did his
homework. I don’t think his parents reminded him like Dad and I will remind
you. The other kids teased him a lot. Whenever they did, his head hung lower
and lower and lower and he looked very sad. I never teased him, but I never
told the other kids to stop, either. And I never talked to Terry. I never
invited him to sit next to me at lunch or to play with me at recess. Instead,
he sat and played by himself. He must have been very lonely.
I still think about Terry. I wonder
if he remembers me? Probably not. I bet if I’d asked him to play and be my
friend he’d still remember me.
I think that God puts people
in our lives as gifts to us. Sometimes those gifts turn out to be our very best
friends and sometimes those gifts help us learn and grow. The other kids in
your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you. So please, buddy,
treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.
Buddy, if you see a child being left
out, or hurt, or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Dad and I
want you to trust that heart ache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and
trust your heart ache. That heart ache is called compassion, and
it is God’s signal to you to do something. It is God saying to you, David,
help! One of my children is hurting! Do something to help!
Whenever you feel compassion you
should be SO happy! It means God is talking to you, and that is wonderful. It means
He is trying to use you to do good things. Sometimes compassion will make you
want to act right away. It might lead you to tell a teaser to “Stop it!”
or say “That’s not kind” and
then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to
you at lunch. You might help someone pick up their things or carry their
lunchbox if they are feeling sad or having a bad day. These things could be
hard to do, but you can do hard things.
Sometimes you will feel compassion
but you won’t do something right away and that’s okay, too. You might choose to
tell your teacher or other big person at school or tell us. Sometimes, that’s
the best choice. Asking for help for someone who is hurting or being picked on is not tattling,
it is doing the right thing. If someone in your class needs
help, please tell me, buddy. We will make a plan to help together.
When God speaks to you by making
your heart hurt for another, by giving you compassion for them, please do something. Remember,
that is God whispering to you. I really wish I hadn’t ignored God when He whispered
to me about Terry at my school. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling
compassion, but I chose fear over compassion. It seemed too scary to talk to a
new friend so I didn’t do anything. I wish I had. Terry could have used a
friend and I could have too.
David, Dad and I don’t care – at all
- if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest kid in your class.
There will be lots of contests at school and we don’t care if you win a single
one of them. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t
care if you have the best clothes or coolest backpack. We don’t send you to
school to be the best; We would be SO proud if you did all those things, but it’s
not what’s most important to us. We want to see you make good choices and do
what pleases God.
Dad and I thought about
homeschooling you instead. You’re a great kid and we know you’d end up super
smart and awesome either way, but we chose to send you to public school this
year. God calls us to be a light, His light, in a dark place. We think you can
do a great job of that at school. By showing compassion and being a good friend
even when it’s hard, you’re shining Jesus’ light at your school. Don’t try to
be the best this year, honey. Just try everyday to show compassion and love to
your classmates. That’s all that Dad and I could ask for.
I love you so very much. Nothing will
ever change that.
Love,
Mama
