Mommies say the darndest things

I have actually found myself saying each one of the following things in the past 2 weeks or so. Sometimes, being a mom makes it hard to keep a straight face. I'm often surprised by what comes out of my mouth.

"No horsey back rides before momma has her coffee please."

"Oh! You have cheese sauce on your head. Nice." (said an hour after dinner)

"No parade candy until after you eat your french fries." (I'm not proud of that one. Fries shouldn't be the healthy, important part of the meal.)

"If you don't pick up all your army men and battle ships I'm not getting out your squishy lizard."

"Please stop head-butting me. And your brother. And the wall. You know, just stop head-butting."

"I know you like your birthday party balloon, but you can't take it in the bathtub with you."

Ah, being a mom is great.